Me and Boner and Shappy been up three days smoking our new batch of meth--this White Trash turned out prettty damn good. Our eyes are bulging out of our head's so much that Shappy actually had one pop out. We had a hell of time getting it back in. He bled a lot, too. Passed out at some point. I guess that's a good sign. Like I told Boner, "You sleep off a hang-over, so why the hell not bleeding too much?" Yea, this White Trash is great... well, except for smelling like Bon...

Sure, I wrote a recipe for roasting elves... Don't like it, suck my hairy bubbas.. My name is Skeeter and I am proud as all hell of showing my ass-crack!! I watch Blue Collar TV and recognize myself as the New White Trash. Hell, I got it tattooed on my goddamn arm the last time I was in prison!! Well, at least the White Trash part. In letters four goddamn inches high, which I could do cause I'm a big guy, which I am cause I have always dearly loved my doritos and subs and pizza an...

This is the time of year when people have to decide what to cook for the holidays. Like most, I will turn to the elf. However, I will not be making Cajun Spiced Elf Eyes, or any of the other 'trendy' new recipes. No, I find the traditional holiday Roast Elf to be best. I like to take kite string and truss them up into a ball before baking. This requires standing there and breaking all of their bones with a hammer. The faint of heart among you can kill them first, though I person...

> I find the traditional holiday roast elf to be best. I like to take kite string and truss them up into a ball before baking. This requires standing there and breaking all their bones with a hammer (the faint of heart can kill them first), but it is worth the trouble and the blood clean up to get a nice display of golden brown elf on the table. I cook them at 250 for three hours to get the innards all done, then another three hours at 200 while I baste them in a melted mixture of candy can...

Ten days and four minutes ago, at an unfamaliar stop on the chicago's underground train line, a fory three year old salesman from Minneapolis walked down the concrete steps and was confronted with a young man all dressed in black, with large nose rings and lip rings and ear rings and brow rings. Slumped against the wall frowning, the young city denizen looks up at the shocked man and starts talking in a cool, punky sneer, "Yea, I'm a fartist. No, no... I didn't say artist, dude. T...

I went to M. this morning with my idea to spend the rent money on a suit of living hamsters, trained to kill; told her, "Look, next time someone tries to force me into a van, and kidnap me, they will be grabbing a rabid hamster hell bent on biting." I pointed at my stick drawings showing a man holding a gun on me as a hamster bites off the offending arm (this is an exaggeration -- it actually takes them quite an effort to break the skin at their present skill level, though training should...

Me and Boner and Shappy been up three days smoking our new batch of meth--this White Trash turned out prettty damn good. Our eyes are bulging out of our head's so much that Shappy actually had one pop out. We had a hell of time getting it back in. He bled a lot, too. Passed out at some point. I guess that's a good sign. Like I told Boner, "You sleep off a hang-over, so why the hell not bleeding too much?" Yea, this White Trash is great... well, except for smelling like Bon...