Me and Boner and Shappy been up three days smoking our new batch of meth--this White Trash turned out prettty damn good. Our eyes are bulging out of our head's so much that Shappy actually had one pop out. We had a hell of time getting it back in. He bled a lot, too. Passed out at some point. I guess that's a good sign. Like I told Boner, "You sleep off a hang-over, so why the hell not bleeding too much?" Yea, this White Trash is great... well, except for smelling like Bon...
Me and Boner and Shappy been up three days smoking our new batch of meth--this White Trash turned out prettty damn good. Our eyes are bulging out of our head's so much that Shappy actually had one pop out. We had a hell of time getting it back in. He bled a lot, too. Passed out at some point. I guess that's a good sign. Like I told Boner, "You sleep off a hang-over, so why the hell not bleeding too much?" Yea, this White Trash is great... well, except for smelling like Bon...
This conflict will obviously be leading to the next world war... and it is time for all to decide who they are going to be pointing their guns at. Peace talks have broken down... war protestor's are out in fruitless force. I hear the trump's are setting up camps for over-weight, or otherwise unsightly women -- they are taken by train to huge Beauty Pagents held in stadiums, where a group of celebrity and fashion judges decide if they are Trump material, or not. Trump is still a...
SCAMOTOMOLOGY: The name people will use to refer to this cult when their temples are all gone and no one is brain washed into believing their tripe anymore. Or... not. So, there, Steven Colbert. Actually, I of course love Steven Colbert, who went to school a few miles from where I sit. Everyone's life is enriched when someone this politically astute, talented, funny, cool, cutting edge and my age actually gets really big? IT IS TOO RARE!!! Almost like early Letterman, back when he was m...
I sometimes make comments in a johnny pain mode and make an ass of myself. Nothing new about that. Last night I found someone who was criticizing an anonymous site, and everyone was leaving comments worried it was them... so I made one too, and got about the same reaction as Andy Kaufman wrestling chicks (which i, boof I am, thought was stupid at the time and have since revised my opinion --not just to keep up with the times and cause of the movie... I think). Anyone who knows me knows I ...
Sure, I wrote a recipe for roasting elves... Don't like it, suck my hairy bubbas.. My name is Skeeter and I am proud as all hell of showing my ass-crack!! I watch Blue Collar TV and recognize myself as the New White Trash. Hell, I got it tattooed on my goddamn arm the last time I was in prison!! Well, at least the White Trash part. In letters four goddamn inches high, which I could do cause I'm a big guy, which I am cause I have always dearly loved my doritos and subs and pizza an...
Sure, I wrote a recipe for roasting elves... Don't like it, suck my hairy bubbas.. My name is Skeeter and I am proud as all hell of showing my ass-crack!! I watch Blue Collar TV and recognize myself as the New White Trash. Hell, I got it tattooed on my goddamn arm the last time I was in prison!! Well, at least the White Trash part. In letters four goddamn inches high, which I could do cause I'm a big guy, which I am cause I have always dearly loved my doritos and subs and pizza an...
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This is the time of year when people have to decide what to cook for the holidays. Like most, I will turn to the elf. However, I will not be making Cajun Spiced Elf Eyes, or any of the other 'trendy' new recipes. No, I find the traditional holiday Roast Elf to be best. I like to take kite string and truss them up into a ball before baking. This requires standing there and breaking all of their bones with a hammer. The faint of heart among you can kill them first, though I person...
This is the time of year when people have to decide what to cook for the holidays. Like most, I will turn to the elf. However, I will not be making Cajun Spiced Elf Eyes, or any of the other 'trendy' new recipes. No, I find the traditional holiday Roast Elf to be best. I like to take kite string and truss them up into a ball before baking. This requires standing there and breaking all of their bones with a hammer. The faint of heart among you can kill them first, though I person...
Michael Richards sure added an unfortunate line to his obituary this year. I watched the footage of him screaming NIGGER at his audience in LA and let out a loud, anguished groan. I saw him once, here in Chicago shooting a film, from a little crowd watching the night time event. He was on Friday's at the time and kind of an underground hit. Michael came over to the crowd and chatted everyone up and I was impressed with him. This is the image I have had of him in the back of my mind since the...
What the hell is going on with my stories? Why have they become more and more comedic and absurd, after years of writing closer to the day to day and trying to develop something of an American Realist* approach? I hope that I am moving toward something interesting. We'll see. Today I am going to explain the geneses of my sub-text, and provide a road map for the next few stories I write, at least... To follow what I am going to write about requires me to make sure you know a few literar...
> I find the traditional holiday roast elf to be best. I like to take kite string and truss them up into a ball before baking. This requires standing there and breaking all their bones with a hammer (the faint of heart can kill them first), but it is worth the trouble and the blood clean up to get a nice display of golden brown elf on the table. I cook them at 250 for three hours to get the innards all done, then another three hours at 200 while I baste them in a melted mixture of candy can...
> I find the traditional holiday roast elf to be best. I like to take kite string and truss them up into a ball before baking. This requires standing there and breaking all their bones with a hammer (the faint of heart can kill them first), but it is worth the trouble and the blood clean up to get a nice display of golden brown elf on the table. I cook them at 250 for three hours to get the innards all done, then another three hours at 200 while I baste them in a melted mixture of candy can...
Spits and Migulapuddy tooled through the back alleys of Chicago's shady Westside, part of a gypsy caravan of beat up pick ups cruising from dumpster to dumpster, seeking out whatever they thought they could sell; mostly scrap metal, but they found all kinds of stuff: TV's, dishes, clothes... They sold everything to an Arab guy, who owned a stop and go, and his son sold it all on EBay, but the two crack head had no clue about that side of things. They barely talked to the Arab guy, ...